Silver Vistas Retirement Community USA
Retirement Humor




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some extracts from the Administrator's Diary
 
Tuesday, 27 March

Not many turned up to the 'Cream-Cake Social' yesterday evening, so I've a stock of unsold cream cakes in my room. Ate a few, but don't know what to do with the rest. I think I'll freeze them, and bring them out at the next event - I don't think anyone will notice.
Friday, 30 March

Today, we had a visit from the Police. It seems Mr and Mrs Cobstanding have been growing marijuana in their spare room, with seeds they brought back from Amsterdam, in Holland. They have been using it to make up a herbal drink, which actually they have given me bottles of, and which I always found quite palatable, and a good way to relax. Anyway, it seems that what they are doing is illegal, even though they have not smoked any. The Police aren't going to prosecute, but they have told them not to do it again. Some of their regular visitors from the Young Offenders Hostel will be disappointed, as I gather that they always enjoyed a glass or two of the drink.
Saturday, 31 March

A very sad day. Mrs Lamburger has unexpectedly passed away as a result of a heart attack. The doctor says it could have been stress, but really, what sort of stress could she have had? Happily, the funeral was well attended, and I do believe I may have recruited one or two people to come to live with us in Silver Vistas.
Monday, 2 April

Today's coach trip to see Mama Mia was overall a great success. Everyone was very appreciative of the driver, so we had a collection for him. In total he got $3.65, which I thought he would be pleased with - it just shows you can't please everyone, whatever you do. The only problem with the trip is that when we got back, we realised Mrs Bargfender was missing. Still, she is a sprightly 90 year old, so I'm sure she will turn up sooner or later.
Thursday, 5 April

We've had a few residents struck down by a mystery illness. Some have blamed the nearby Virus Research Center, but the VRC has assured us that there has been no leak of viruses from the laboratory, at least not recently. One of those who has been ill, Mrs Cliffhanger, has assured us that the standards at VRC seem to be very thorough. (Mrs C has been acting as a 'guinea-pig' helping with research over there, so she ought to know!)
 



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